I have always been posting bout my life n what i went through.. that is very selfish of me to only think of myself when people around d world face even bigger threats.. from small crimes like theft, then murder and sexual assault to d gang man slaughter that is happening in this world.. i cant believe that i was so selfish.. always dwelling with my feelings only...

Last night, i watched a documentary called India's Daughter.. a documentary that was made to open the eyes of many people, especially Indians. So much in d documentary that was true. I agree that there are many men who wants to protect woman, but then, research shows that 40% of men in this world, things that women are harmless and to be taken advantage of. So many women out there who are at risk even before marriage, let alone after. It is either a physical abuse or mentally. Women are at risk when they go out, they are also at risk at home. Don't women also have rights for freedom? Is a girl who is sexually assaulted responsible of the crime that was done to her? Can't she have as much freedom and rights as the men? If u tell that a girl should dress properly to avoid rape, then why ladies in Purdha are also victims? If you say that women should not go out at night, do they have to stay at home and rot while u ho around having fun? Men are made to protect women, not harm them. It is really sad how sexual assault and domestic abuse keeps going up. Are men threatened that ladies are starting to stand on their own feet? These are the qustions that i want answers especially from some irresponsible people. This is the 21 st century. It is the age where women are independent. And yet, men still disrespect women like humans during the Old Age. As a woman, it is sad and painful to kbow that i am nt safe because there are predators out there.

It is sad that people consider man slaughter as a from of teaching.. Humans have no rights of hurting each other. You dont decide who stay alive and who dies. There are so many families are sacrificed for pleasure and joy of certain parties. Certain religion and ethnics are wiped out because some people wants to show power. Just remember, in any religion, the teaching is to make you a better human. You don't have any rights to hurt others or decide what others should do. God is there and he will surely punish people who does bad things to others. How heartless could a person be that he doesnt feel any remorse after doing all the bad things he has done. So far, i dont recall hearing any baddies saying that they regret what they did. The best part about this is that they can ask, 'why cant we do it?'..

Just something to think about.

I m in a terrible confusion...  kekadang tertanye pade diri whether m I expecting too much...ak sayangkn lelaki ini tersangat.. tp salah ke ak mengharap??.
Ak matah dgn diri ak tetapi xtau cm mane nk lpaskn..  die jadi.mangse keadaan emosiku yg x stabil... ak risau dan takut.. apa klu die tinggalkn ak kerana ak mengharap. Ak sering cube mengikut kehendak die kerana ak tidak sanggup kehilangan die.  Tetapi, ak menyakiti diriku sendiri.. ak menunggu supaya die sedar yg ak teramat cintakn die. Ak ingin hubungan yg simple.. tetapi ak sendiri merumitkan keadaan. Ak sungguh tidak pandai berlakon. Tetapi biler ak bercakap dgn die, ak cube sehabis mungkin untuk sorok perasaan ak. Ak benci dan mafab pade diri ini apabila ak terlepas kate. Ego ak tinggi. Kekadang, ak sedar yang ak bnyk menyakiti die. Mungkin sebab itu, tanpe die sedari, die menyakiti ak juga. Ak telah jatuh cinta kepada seorang yang sgt sibuk dgn hidup die sendiri. Hanye ak mengharap die akn hanye memikirkn tentang ak bler kami bersama. Tetapi ak tau itu x mungkin. 나만 보는 남자가 가고싶었어. 근데, 그건 안돼고같아... 나 어떻게 해야돼?? 어떻게하면 그 사람 네 마음은 볼수있을가??

I am at last back from Port Klang... at last..  m out from the hell this people call home.... before I left, the daughter of my so called uncle sent me a sarcastic text..  she said tat I dunno my place in her house... that bloody brat us 5 years younger than me and she is advising me on how I should leave my life..  she is a total brat that thinks highly about herself. Spoiled and wasted...  I can be sure that girls like her will not be able to live without being with their parents cause they are so used to staying under their parent's armpit... spoon fed and taken care like a princess and she thinks she can talk to anyone..  she is telling me that I dun deserve her respect..  that I should earn it... well... I respected her as a human and as my uncle's daughter and she can say I dun deserve her respect??? What does she thinks of herself??? Does she thinks that she is some kind of princess ruling the world that she can decide who to deserves her respect??? No bloody manners... I just hope she doesn't come to UPM cause if she does, she is gonna regret..  she will never survive the world and trust me, she will obviously go through a cultural shock and hanyut... that time I will see if she can earn my respect..  go die devashinee p.

I m taking a lot of courage to tell my mom everything... I wrote a letter to tell her everything and clear all her doubts... I want her to understand that I m not like what my uncle describes me... and she as my mom should know that better than anyone in the world... I am a bit taken aback that my mom chooses to believe on other people besides me... just because I went out with a guy without her knowing...  and he gets the blame cause my mom accuses me for not being focus.... hmmmm.... if I m not focused, will I be able to score..   she do not realize the amount of stress that she cause me when I am sitting for my exams... she also don't realize that no matter how stressed and disturbed I get after calling her, I still call her before my exams... she thinks that I do not love the family anymore... she do not know how much I miss seeing my family and every time I go back, I just get heart broken.. they condemn me and bad mouth me In front of me... they also ignore me and find me irritating... why should I rely on a family who do not bother about my feelings but want to know every shit I do... haaiiizzz